


Making Me A Habit

by Synnerxx



Series: Habits (Stay High) [3]
Category: Megadeth, Metallica
Genre: Arguing, Barebacking, Cheating, Infidelity, M/M, Manipulation, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 11:15:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5288615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James has to deal with the fallout of him and Dave. (Load Era, follows "Blame It On Me, Honey" & "This Is Gonna Take Me Down")</p>
            </blockquote>





	Making Me A Habit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sleep_and_feel_no_pain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleep_and_feel_no_pain/gifts).



> set six months after "this is gonna take me down". blame raven. it's her fault anyway. XD

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Lars’ voice is cold in a way that James has never heard before. 

He twists around to look at Lars over the back of the couch. “What are you talking about?”

“I know you’re still sleeping with him. I’m not blind. Or an idiot.” Lars says, folding his arms across his chest. 

It's on the tip of James’ tongue to ask who Lars is talking about, but he knows better than to play dumb with Lars when he's this angry. He sighs, lowering his head. “Yes, I'm still sleeping with him.”

“Oh, so you do admit it. I wasn't sure if you were going to or not. But I'm glad, for your sake, that you did. Means I don't have to be pissed at you for being a liar as well as a cheat.” Lars sneers. 

“Lars, please. Let me explain-” James tries, but Lars cuts him off again.

“What’s there to explain? It’s very simple. You’ve been cheating on me since that night when I caught you and Dave in the bar, haven’t you? So for about six months now.” Lars digs his nails into his arms, fury threading through him.

James sighs. “Okay, yes. But I swear it’s just sex! That’s it. You know I love you.”

“Now you’re a fucking liar. You loved him then and you love him now. You think I don’t know you? Think I can’t see right through you? Come on, James.” Lars shakes his head at him. 

“I-I don’t love him.” James denies, the words burning on his tongue and the shame flickers in his chest. He doesn’t want to love Dave. All they ever did was ruin each other. 

Lars stares him down, green eyes cold. “Stop lying. You know I hate that shit.”

James bites his lip, unable to meet Lars’ eyes. “How’d you find out I’m still sleeping with him?”

“Found his number in your jeans pocket and called him up. Asked him. He was very happy to share the details. Fucker.” Lars sneers again.

James flushes, teeth worrying his lip some more. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, you fucking are. I forgave you and tried to move on, to trust you again, and this is how you repay me? But I should have fucking known better. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Besides he always did have some kind of hold on you.” Lars mutters bitterly.

James looks back up at Lars, heart aching in his chest as he stares at him, taking in the tense set of his shoulders, the lines of stress around his eyes, the downturn of his mouth, the unhappiness in his face. “I didn’t mean to. I swear. I was done with him. Had been done with him for years. And then I ran into him at the bar and it was like we’d never split. I couldn’t help myself. I’m so sorry, Lars. Really.”

Lars holds up his hand. “I don’t wanna fucking hear it! I’m tired of all your pretty words, all your lies, all your manipulations. This is it. This is the last straw. I’ve had enough. You want to be with him? Well, fine. Go be with him. See if I give a flying fuck anymore. You two deserve to run each other straight into the fucking ground and I hope to hell you do.”

James flinches at the angry tone in Lars’ voice, the sheer fury in his eyes. “Lars, please….”

“I said don’t. There’s no “Lars, please” anymore. There’s no Lars anymore. Not for you. We’re over. I’m done. You’ll never give him up and I don’t want to stick around and play the blind boyfriend, pretending I don’t know that you’re fucking him behind my back, pretending I don’t notice you sneaking around while everyone whispers about it behind our backs. Fuck you, James.” Lars glares him down.

James feels the shame squeeze his heart harder, burning in his chest, whispering softly to Lars. “I love him, yeah. I do. I’ll admit it. But I love you too. And we work much better than Dave and I do. And he has David anyway. He’ll never be mine again, but just because I love him doesn’t mean I don’t love you just as much as I ever did. Please. Don’t do this.”

Lars stares at him. “Are you fucking kidding me? You fucking cheated on me! With Mustaine of all fucking people! And you expect to sit there and tell me that you still love him, but oh, don’t worry, Lars, I still love you too! Fuck you! That’s not gonna fly anymore. I shouldn’t have taken you back the first time. I should have learned my lesson then. But I stupidly thought I could be enough for you, but obviously, I’m not and I’m not going to waste my time while my lover sits around and fucks around on me and expects me to be okay with him loving someone else. You’re such a selfish prick, James.”

James lowers his head again, feeling tears burning at the back of his eyes. He wants to be angry, wants to yell at Lars, deny his words, and tell him he’s fucking wrong, but he can’t. He can’t because Lars is right. Dave’s managed to work his way underneath his skin again and he can’t give him up. Not even for Lars. He hates the guilt and the shame that floods through him at the thought, but it’s true and he needs to stop denying it to himself. Dave doesn’t love him, he knows that, but he can’t help himself. Never could when it came to Dave. Even when he knows Lars loves him, would have always been there for him, even though he loves Lars too, it just wasn’t the same as being with Dave, as loving Dave. 

“What, got nothing to say now?” Lars snorts.

“I’m sorry. I love you and I’m sorry. You’re right. I don’t deserve you and you don’t deserve what I’ve put you through. I’m the idiot who’s still hung up on someone who was never really mine and won’t ever be mine. I just...I don’t know how to let go of him.” James admits quietly.

“Well, I sure as fuck know how to let go of you.” Lars huffs, shaking his head.

James flinches again. “You should.”

“Trust me, I am. Starting tonight. I’m going to stay with Kirk. I’ll be back sometime this week to start packing my shit.” Lars turns sharply on his heel and stalks to the front door, grabbing the handle of a suitcase waiting there for him that James hadn’t noticed. He doesn’t look back as he opens the door, mumbling angrily to himself in Danish as he wrenches the door open and slams it behind him when he goes out of it.

James sighs, the sound loud in the sudden silence. He buries his face in his hands, trying to regain his composure for a moment, heaving another sigh. He isn’t sure what he’s supposed to do now without Lars. His thoughts flick back to Dave and he contemplates calling him, but he resists the urge, not wanting to explain everything to Dave, who would surely ask what happened between since he told Lars everything anyway. 

James growls, anger starting to grow in the pit of his stomach. Fucking Dave. He had no right at all to tell Lars. It wasn’t like they were gonna be together. There was no point in telling Lars, except whatever petty jealousy bullshit he still had left from being kicked out of Metallica that he blamed Lars for. Dave always fucking ruined things for him. Just to see him miserable while he laughed it up. 

He picks up the phone and stabs the buttons, dialing Dave, more anger simmering in his veins as he waits, working himself up as he listens to the rings.

“What?” Dave’s voice answers, sounding vaguely annoyed.

“You’re such a fucking bitch, Mustaine.” James snarls into the phone.

“Awww, did Lars leave you? I thought he might after our conversation.” Dave’s voice practically drips with smugness.

“Why the fuck would you do that? What did I do to you?” James snaps.

“Why not? All I did was answer some of his questions. You should cover your tracks better, Jamie. Honestly, leaving my number in your pants? Not a very clever move on your part.” Dave tsks on the other end of the line.

James grits his teeth as more fury sparks inside of him. “Why the fuck do you feel the need to always try and fuck things up for me, huh?”

Dave laughs. “Because it’s fun! You’re so easy to mess with and well, Lars deserves it too, so two birds with one stone, really.”

“I don’t know why I ever wasted my time with you.” James sneers.

“Because you can’t resist me. Because you need me. Because you want me. You always have and you always will. And you can deny it all you want, Jamie, but I know I’m right.” Dave purrs.

James slams the receiver down hard enough that the plastic cracks along the headset. His hands shake with rage as he gets up and paces around the living room, trying to shove it all down. He needs to figure out how he’s going to handle this, handle Dave, handle Lars. He needs a plan. Something. Anything.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Dave hangs up the phone, wicked smirk in place on his mouth. 

“Why’d you do that? Tell Lars?” David asks softly from the other end of the couch. He didn’t approve of James cheating on Lars, but approved even less of Dave interfering with what he considered private matters between the two of them. 

“Because I can. And it’s fun. And they deserve it.” Dave smirks more.

David frowns a little, picking at a hole in his jeans. “I don’t think you should have done that.”

Dave rolls his eyes. “You don’t think I should do a lot of the things that I do. When has that ever stopped me?”

“Never, but still, Dave, that was cruel. They do love each other.” David glances up at Dave.

“Obviously not enough if Hetfield keeps coming back to me.” Dave sneers.

David falls quiet for a moment. “You know how to twist people up and make them unable to leave you. Even if they want to.”

Dave tilts his head at David, a dangerous glint coming to his eyes. “Trying to tell me something, Junior?”

David hesitates and then shakes his head. “No.”

“That’s what I thought. Now shut your pretty little mouth about things that don’t concern you, hmm?” Dave smirks at him.

David flushes in humiliation, ducking his head and picking harder at his jeans, not saying a word.

Dave stares hard at David, watching the red stain his neck as well and he reaches out, tugging lightly at his hair. “You shouldn’t do such pretty things with your face. You know what it does to me.”

David flushes more, not looking up from his jeans, voice soft. “I can’t help it.”

Dave pulls harder on his hair, increasing the pressure until David yelps in pain, turning to look at him with big eyes. Dave growls and slides his hand down, curling it around the side of David’s neck, yanking him closer, into a kiss.

David flails a little, hands landing on Dave’s chest as he kisses Dave back, letting Dave control the kiss, whimpering as Dave bites roughly at his lips, pushing his tongue into his mouth.

Dave kisses him hard for a moment before he breaks the kiss and shoves David back onto the couch, jerking his clothes off as quick as he can, eyeing the thick, hard cock pulsing against David’s belly, already beading wet at the tip. 

Dave swipes his fingers through the fluid on the head of David’s cock, making him moan, hips twitching up into his hand. “You’re so responsive to me….”

David blushes some more. “Please….”

Dave smirks down at him, grasping his cock in a loose fist and stroking him slowly just to watch the pleasure slide across his face. David doesn’t disappoint, eyes closing, lips parting as a deep groan of pleasure slips from his mouth. Dave brings his free hand up to his mouth and sucks on three of his fingers, wetting them down, getting them slick. He lets go of David’s cock, tapping his hip. David shifts around, getting up onto his hands and knees, bracing himself against the arm of the couch. 

Dave eyes him, running his eyes down the line of his spine to the curve of his ass and then reaches out, pressing two fingers into him, sinking them all the way inside of him, groaning at the tight heat, already imagining it around his cock. David moans, rocking his hips back against Dave’s hand, fucking himself on his fingers. Dave scissors them, stretching him out and working him open for his cock before adding a third one, splaying them wide to work the tightness out of his muscles. 

He pulls his fingers out after a few more moments of stretching him, deciding that that’s good enough and he wrenches his jeans open, shoving them down enough to take his cock out, spitting into his hand and stroking his cock, slicking himself up. He moans at his own touch, a shudder running through him as his cock pulses against his palm. 

He grasps David’s hip with one hand, guiding himself to his entrance with the other, running the head of his cock over his hole again and again, teasing David. “Beg for it. Beg me to fuck you.” He growls out.

David whines, pushing back against Dave’s cock, wanting it inside of him. “Please, please fuck me! Need it so bad!”

Dave smirks and then shoves his cock into David, not stopping until he’s fully sheathed inside of David’s tight heat. David screams his pleasure, loud and full of pure pleasure as fire burns along his nerve, the delicious burn of being stretched like this slamming into him. Dave doesn’t give him time to adjust, fucking into him hard and fast, his hips snapping against David. The sound of skin on skin is obscene in the quiet of the room.

David moans and whimpers, cock dripping precome down onto the cushions below him, cock throbbing and twitching, flushed a pretty pink. He works a hand underneath himself and curls his fingers around his cock, stroking in time to Dave’s thrusts, rocking back onto Dave’s cock and up into his own hand. 

Dave growls deep in his chest. “Yesssss, get yourself off for me. Come for me, from what I do to you….”

David pants, gasping moans hitching in his throat as his body begins to tense in anticipation, orgasm drawing near as he clenches around Dave, each squeeze of his muscles getting longer and tighter around Dave’s length as he shudders. Helpless, desperate noises pour out of him as his orgasm threatens to ruin him and finally crashes over him in a blinding wave of heat and light. He comes hard all over his fingers and the couch, clenching tight around Dave as he screams his name.

Dave’s eyes widen, black with lust, as he watches David come undone underneath him, fucking into him harder and faster before he buries himself as deep as he can inside of him, coming with a harsh, strangled scream, flooding inside of David. 

David trembles, sagging against the couch as Dave comes inside of him, the rush of wet heat making him shiver. He pants, eyes closing as he struggles to regain some composure.

Dave slowly eases out of David, hissing at how sensitive he is now, and reaches over to the side table, grabbing some tissues and cleaning himself up. He gets up from the couch and straightens his clothing. He stares down at David’s panting, sweaty form and sneers a little. “I’ll be back later. Don’t wait up.”

David nods, not bothering to argue or ask to come with him, knowing where that’ll get him. He’s not in the mood for Dave’s temper. 

Dave turns on his heel and stalks to the front door, slamming it behind him as is his habit.

David sighs and lays there for another moment before shifting and cleaning himself up, getting dressed again, wondering what he’s supposed to do now that Dave’s gone. He knows Dave’s probably going to find James and sleep with him again. It shouldn’t sting him, they aren’t even in a real relationship, but it does. It feels like he’s being cheated on and that’s stupid and he knows it’s stupid, but he can’t help the way he feels about Dave, the way he can’t let go of him. He hates himself for it. He wants to hate Dave for it too, but he can’t. He loves him too much to ever truly hate him.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

James growls into the kiss, feeling his lip split under Dave’s teeth, blood trickling across his tongue and he slides it into Dave’s mouth, sharing the metallic taste with him. Dave pulls away with a snarl and shoves James back onto the bed, crawling over him, grinding their cocks together through their jeans. He trails his mouth down over James’ neck, biting and sucking, not caring that he’s leaving marks. 

James presses up against him, hands winding in the thick curls, tugging at them restlessly. Dave sneers against his skin and jerks on his shirt, pulling it off roughly, stripping them both out of their clothing. James shudders as his bare cock drags against Dave’s, moaning hoarsely as he pulls again at Dave’s hair, getting a groan of pleasure in return. 

Dave taps his hip and James rolls over, getting up to his hands and knees, knowing what Dave wants. He braces himself for the burn of three fingers being shoved into him, but Dave is pulling away for a moment, snagging lube out of the side table and slicking his fingers, two being pressed inside instead of three. It’s still rough, but less so somehow. James bites his lip and drops down to his forearms as Dave strokes his fingertips over his sweet spot again and again. He squeezes his eyes shut as Dave fucks his fingers into him, stretching him open. Another finger pushes inside of him and James moans, rocking back onto Dave’s fingers.

Dave works him open a little more before pulling his fingers out and slicking his cock up with whatever lube is left on his fingers before gripping James’ hips, digging his fingers into bruises that are already there, some fading, some fresh. He thrusts hard into James, pausing for a moment to savor the tight heat around his cock before pulling almost all the way out and pushing back into James with a deep groan.

James pants, cock throbbing against his stomach, precome sliding down the shaft as Dave fucks him, angling his hips so Dave hits his sweet spot with every thrust. He drops his head down, gasping desperately, pushing back against Dave. 

Dave reaches around James’ hip and curls his fingers around James’ cock and strokes him in time with his thrusts, draping himself along James’ back a little, working his hips harder and faster, tightening his grip on James’ cock, brushing his thumb over the head with every upstroke. “Gonna come for me, hmm, Jamie?”

James clenches his teeth, body jolting with his impending orgasm as flames lick up his spine, consuming him in a blaze of heat and pleasure before he tenses. His orgasm slams into him seconds later and he comes hard over Dave’s fingers, squeezing Dave’s cock harder inside of him. 

Dave keeps stroking James’ cock through his orgasm, only letting go when he feels it stop pulsing and then then grips his hips again, slamming harder into James before burying himself inside of him and coming with a loud growl of pleasure. The slick heat makes James shiver and he lowers himself to the bed as Dave slips out of him. He feels Dave get off the bed and hears water running, drifting along in the afterglow.

He’s surprised when Dave comes back to the bed with a wet wash cloth and cleans him up. Dave throws the cloth in the general direction of the bathroom before pushing at James to scoot over and James does, rolling onto his side and giving Dave a confused look.

Dave arches an eyebrow at him. “What?”

“You don’t stay.” James points out.

Dave rolls his eyes. “I can leave then.”

James shakes his head a little. “Don’t.”

Dave pulls the covers over them and settles down, closing his eyes.

“What about David?” James asks after a moment of silence.

Dave cracks open an eye. “What about him?”

“Aren’t you with him? Won’t he wonder where you are?” James blinks at Dave.

“Junior is not your concern.” Dave closes his eyes again.

“Well, Lars wasn’t yours either, but you still stuck your nose in that.” James raises his eyebrow.

Dave squints at James. “Don’t worry about David. He’s mine.”

“Sure he can’t be swayed?” James smirks a little bit, wanting to rile Dave up.

Dave growls, eyes darkening dangerously. “I’d stay away from him if I were you, Jamie.”

James studies Dave for a moment, considering, then shrugs. “Whatever.”

Dave watches James carefully. “I mean it, Jamie. Stay away from Junior.”

“Like you stayed away from Lars?” James says mildly.

Dave growls. “I’m fucking serious, James.”

James chuckles sleepily, reaching out and tangling a hand in Dave’s hair, tugging him closer and pressing a kiss to his mouth. 

Dave relaxes a little and settles back down, kissing James back, much softer than before. 

James hums into the kiss and then breaks it after a moment. “Don’t hog the covers.”

“Don’t snore.” Dave shoots back, closing his eyes and slurping softly, letting sleep tug him under.

James quirks a small smile and drifts off, one hand still curled in Dave’s hair.


End file.
